English SMS Jokes

1. Three dreams of a man: To be as handsome as his mother thinks. To be as rich as his child believes. To have as many women as his wife suspects
2. Child Donkey: Mum with whom shall I play, every donkey is busy. Mother Donkey: Don’t worry son, see here, this donkey will be free after reading this SMS.
3. Husband asks, do you know the meaning of WIFE. It means… Without Information fighting every time! WIFE says No, it means – With Idiot For Ever
4. What’s the difference between stress, tension and panic?
   Stress is when wife is pregnant,
   Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,
   Panic is when both are pregnant.
5. GALILEO:
   great mind
   EINSTEIN:
   genius mind
   NEWTON:
   extraordinary mind
   BILL GATES
   brilliant mind
   ME:
   master mind
   YOU:
   oh!
   never mind
6. I have a confession to make
   ever since I met u its been hard for me to 4get u
   every night I see u in my dreams
   and find myself shouting
   GHOST GHOST !!!
7. To live this life i need a heart beat, to have a heart beat i need a heart to have a heart i need hapiness and to have hapiness i need u
8. Wrote your name on the sands…..It got washed away,i wrote your name in air….It got blown away,so i write your name in my heart…I got heart attack!!!
9. Your attention please
   Thanks 4 ur attention. Now carry on ur work…
10. Friendship is the rainbow between
    2 hearts
    sharing of 7 colors.
    1.LOVE
    2.SADNESS
    3.HAPPINESS
    4.TRUST
    5.FAITH
    6.SECRET
    7.CARE
    Take Care n Have a nice day:-)
11. *******************************************************************************************
12. Height of fashion?
    Dhoti wid zip.
    Height of secrecy?
    Blank visiting card.
    Height of stupidity?
    Looking thru a keyhole of glass door.
    Height of honesty?
    Pregnant woman purchases 1 & a half ticket.
    Height of de-hydration?
    A cow giving milk powder.
    Height of timewasting?
    U reading the whole msg.
13. Hey listen……
    Two people were asking
    Me about you,
    I give them ur address
    And cell no,
    They will b visiting u soon,
    Their names r joy n happiness.
14. Let me
    draw ur
    face!
    Dont
    MOVE!
    Nearly
    finished
    OK
    Done!
    Wanna have
    a look?
    .,|!|,.
    ( o)(o)
    ( ,)
15. A 992 i
    n0279q biquT2
    2m2 pni992
    .2iHT 9>IiI
    (use mirror to read)
    pls dnt erase!
    its really interesting
16. This iz crime story
    5 friendz lived in a room
    Namely
    MAD
    BRAIN
    FOOL
    NOBODY
    SOMEBODY
    1day SOMEBODY killed NOBODY.
    At that time BRAIN was in bathroom,
    MAD called police.
    MAD:Is it police station?
    Police:Yes,wht iz the matter?
    MAD:SOMEBODY killed NOBODY.
    Police:R u mad?
    MAD:Yes,i“m MAD.
    Police:Dnt u’ve BRAIN.
    MAD:BRAIN iz in bathroom..
    Police:U FOOL…
    MAD:No,FOOL is reading this sMs